Just one more year of this. Lord, let it be true. The last two semesters were a complete waste and I'd like to think of this year as a do over, telling myself that last year never even existed. Still, I am faced with this year, and I'll grind my teeth whilst I do whatever it takes to get through it. For some people, college life just seems to work out for them. I am not one of those people. It is not for lack of motivation or desire to learn. It is an odd mix of commuting, working, money (or the lack thereof), and dealing with those who would bring me down.

I have never truly been of this place, nor have I ever really sought to be. Thankfully home is not a place. Home- refuge, warmth, laughter, healing, growth, truth, unconditional love, sacrifice, release...met me here. But it is not here.

He met me at a point of vengeful embitterment, and humbled me with grace and gentleness. He knows my soul, my fire.

He left. He had to. He wanted to find a place to house a home for me. For us.

I grew tired. And weak. And discouraged. I ran away from home. He let me go.

I made the mistake of thinking there were others out there like him. I let myself be used and deceived.

He took me as I was...broken, humiliated, undeserving. He brought me back home. Reminded me of my worth, remembered my fire.


A very wise person once told me to find a man who loves me as Christ loves the church, and marry him.

So I'll go through these last few months. I'll suck it up and just get it done. When it's done, I'll go to the place he's preparing for our home.